Hunger hurts but starving works...

I absolutely hate myself sometimes. I work myself up into such a frenzy over everything, EVERYTHING! Now I could seriously throw up. It's 2:30AM, I am exhausted, and I can't sleep. Why? Because my dumb ass has developed a crush.

I shouldn't say developed... It's been lying dormant since I discarded him about a year and a half ago because, as usual, I wasn't sure what I wanted... I was scared of getting close, getting hurt. So I hurt him instead. Sounds reasonable, doesn't it?

I want to tell him so badly but I am afraid of the rejection, only because we're still friends. Other people say that it's fairly obvious that he likes me, and I should just go for it, but I have played every bad scenerio in my head, scripted every conversation, and now I am steps away from being committed.

And even if I do get up the nerve, I can't even figure out how to do it... grovel? is blunt the best answer? just kiss the bastard?

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..I do feel a little better...